story-2

"Of COURSE you can!" come the giddy replies. A few others say that they feel the same way and see themselves as lesbians, so naturally, it's fine for you, too. Even the one who turned cold on you is back to join the virtual lovefest.\n\nAlso, you dig further into the forum. Some of these women admit to sleeping with men on occasion, but as long as they call themselves lesbians and always return to women, they can retain their community standing even with those occasional slip-ups.\n\n[[You're a lesbian now. Congratulations!]]

<<silently>>\n<<set $discouragement = 0>>\n<<set $slurs = "null">>\n<<set $broken = "null">>\n<<endsilently>><html>\n<img src="name-title.gif" width="500" height="340" alt="What's in a Name: by Gaming Pixie">\n</html>\nAfter years of questioning, you've finally figured out you're bisexual. You once assumed you were a lesbian because you liked girls; then, you thought you must be straight because you liked boys. But now, it's finally dawned on you that you just like both.\n\n[[Wow! What took me so long?]]

Everyone is so nice and friendly after you get there, so eager to embrace a new "sister". You've never really fit in with most people because you tend to keep to yourself. It's wonderful -- just wonderful -- having such a great a place to belong.\n\n[[This thread looks interesting.]]\n\n[[No, this one instead.]]

<html>\n<img src="Closet.png" width="500" height="500" />\n</html>\nHooray, you've found a place to belong! And all you have to do to keep it is pretend a part of you no longer exists.\n<html><h3>The End?</h3></html><<if $discouragement gte 7>>\n<html><hr /><strong>You found every biphobic thread! You've unlocked the achievement:</strong></html> [[Crushed Soul]].\n<<endif>>

Nervous but hopeful, you type out the words: "The feelings that I have towards men are generally more physical, but I generally have more of an emotional attraction to women. So, is it okay?"\n\nThe title you gave the thread:\n\n"Is it okay to call myself a lesbian?"\n\n[[Answers come.]]

<<set $discouragement = $discouragement +3>><<set $broken = "yes">>The next thread is worst one yet. Some here claim bisexuals don't even exist<<if $slurs eq "yes">>, and it's even uglier than that other thread you read<<endif>>. They say "so-called" "bi-sexuals" are lying or in denial. That they're either closeted lesbians who want to claim het privilege, straight girls who are only acting out for male attention, or experimenters simply waiting for a man. In other words, bi women's feelings aren't real, and neither is their orientation.\n\nThen, it degenerates even further. Bi women are apparently disease-ridden sluts who not only break women's hearts, but give innocent lesbians AIDS.\n\n[[. . . . .]]

<<if $discouragement gte 5>>\nYou thought you had found a place to call home, but it's obvious you're not welcome. The elation of self-acceptance you felt seems like a cruel irony now.\n\n<<if $broken eq "yes">>\nYou know you're none of those terrible things. And you want to be part of this community so badly. Maybe... maybe you're *not* bisexual. Maybe you made a mistake.<<endif>>\n\n[[A person without a country....|But I want to fit in.]]\n<<else>>\nMaybe you just found the wrong threads. There has to be more to it. Since you're a glutton for punishment, you read [[yet another discussion|Great plan, that.]].\n<<endif>>

It seems like such an obvious answer. Why did finding it take so long? Oh, well; no sense in dwelling on that. You're just thrilled that, FINALLY, this part of you makes sense.\n\n[[You want to tell the world!]]

It's a thread about straight guys who fetishize lesbians. Lots of stuff about how men expect women to make out for their entertainment or believe lesbians only exist to fulfill their "threesome" fantasies. You're DEFINITELY feeling this since it annoys you, too.\n\n[[Then, you reach post #28.]]

Whats in a Name?

<<set $discouragement = $discouragement +2>><<set $slurs = "yes">>The discussion has turned to bisexuals. Somehow, while "straight" women are fine, one poster notes she'd "Never" get involved with a bisexual woman because they're all greedy, confused and/or fakers.\n\nNot one person argues with her. Some even agree.\n\n[[Read a different one.|Read another thread.]]\n\n[[Go back to the other thread.|No, this one instead.]]

It's a topic about crushes. Especially crushes that your new sisters have or had on straight women. One poster is downright effusive about how hot it is being with a straight woman, and several agree with her. The label "straight" here seems weird to you (and the topic itself a bit questionable), but you let it go.\n\n[[Then, you keep reading.]]\n

[[About This Game]]\n[[Back to My Website|https://blog.gamingpixie.com/]]\n<hr />\n

Hey, it's a thread about porn! Neat! You reply to this one and admit you have a stash. A new forum friend enthuses to you, "Isn't it great being a lesbian?" You tell her just as cheefully that you're bisexual and, yeah, that's pretty great, too.\n\n[[And then....]]

You start bargaining with yourself. You did think you were a lesbian when you were younger, right? And although you usually have more sexual feelings for men, you usually have more romantic feelings towards women. And the romantic/emotional part is all that matters, right? Right?\n\nFeeling a glimmer of hope, you [[pose a question|Your Question]].

<<set $discouragement = $discouragement +1>>You can almost feel the awkward silence preceding her answer: "Oh. I didn't know you were bi." You *do* feel the chill when she ignores you from then on.\n\n[[. . . . .]]

<<set $discouragement = $discouragement +1>>"I know, I wish they'd leave us alone," it says. "That's what bi-girls are for."\n\nOkay, that one stung a bit. <<if $slurs eq "yes">>But at least it's not as bad as the first one.<<endif>>\n\n[[Read another thread.]]

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Everyone adores you now that you've chosen an acceptable label. And it's not like your feelings for men really matter anyway.\n\n[[That new closet looks pretty spacious.]]

This is all so new to you and you marvel at what you've found. It's actually kind of beautiful, knowing that you could potentially find love with either gender. And now that you FINALLY know who you are, it's time to find your place in the LGBT community. Time to find your place in the place you know is yours.\n\n[[You visit a lesbian forum.]]

<html>\n<img src="about-title.gif" width="375" height="47" alt="About This Game">\n</html>\nThis game is based on some experiences I had when I first realized I'm bisexual. Experiences that turned what had been a moment of pride for me into feelings of shame and confusion that took a long time to deal with, including another "Well, maybe I'm straight" phase when it sunk in that my feelings for men weren't going away. Then, it turned out my feelings for women weren't disappearing, either. :p\n\nI know not every bisexual person's coming out process is as... "complex" as mine was. But maybe in sharing this chapter of it, I can help someone.\n\nAll the best,\n\n<html>\n<img src="signature.gif" width="189" height="41" />\n</html>